Apologizing for Mistakes...not feelings

Miss me? Life has been a little crazy. 
In case you didn't think I was busy enough....I went back to work. 
Like a real life, full-time, honest to god job. 
Not that running Pure Impressions isn't a full-time job, because lord knows it is. 
But in addition to that, I've accepted a position as the Executive Director of a local Non-Profit Arts Organization here in Casper, Wyoming - Art321.

It's a place that has been very important to me for a few years now. 
I wasn't planning on even applying for the position, but after spending 4 months consulting for them during a transitional period, I realized how much I loved being there every day. So here we are. 

I am doing my very best to be present here still. And that is going to look different for a while, until I remember how to do more than 1 big thing at a time.

This month's topic fits in with that. 
Apologizing for mistakes (abandoning you all) instead of feelings. (massive guilt for abandoning you all lol) 

Apologizing for Mistakes, Not Feelings: A Guide to Genuine Apologies

In the journey of personal development and fostering healthy relationships, the art of apologizing is pretty dang important. While we often hear that apologies mend the rifts caused by our actions, there's a distinction to be made: apologizing for mistakes, not feelings. Understanding this difference is vital for meaningful communication and authentic connections, especially for women, moms, and middle-aged individuals (like me!) navigating life's complexities.

What's the Difference Between Apologizing for Mistakes and Feelings?

At the heart of an apology lies the recognition of an action that has caused harm or discomfort. However, many of us inadvertently apologize for our feelings, which can undermine the authenticity of the apology and lead to confusion or resentment.

Apologizing for Mistakes

When we apologize for mistakes, we acknowledge actions or behaviors that have negatively impacted someone else. This may include:

  • Saying something hurtful
  • Failing to keep a promise
  • Overstepping boundaries
  • Making decisions that adversely affect others

Apologizing for Feelings

Conversely, apologizing for feelings often involves expressing regret for how we naturally feel about a situation or person. For example:

  • "I'm sorry I got upset."
  • "I apologize for feeling hurt."
  • "Sorry for being anxious about this."

While such feelings are valid and deserve acknowledgment, apologizing for them can send a message that our emotions are wrong or unacceptable. Instead, focus on addressing the actions that led to those feelings, fostering healthier dialogues and mutual understanding.

Learning to Admit When We've Done Something Wrong

Acknowledging our mistakes is a brave and essential step in personal growth. It requires self-awareness, humility, and the willingness to take responsibility for our actions. Here's how to effectively recognize and admit when you've done something wrong:


Take time to reflect on the situation and understand what went wrong. Ask yourself:

  • What did I do that might have hurt or upset someone?
  • How could I have handled the situation differently?
  • What underlying issues or patterns are contributing to my behavior?


Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Consider their perspective and how your actions affected them. Empathy helps you connect with their feelings and strengthens your resolve to make amends.


Own up to your actions without deflecting blame or making excuses. Accepting full responsibility for your mistakes demonstrates integrity and fosters trust.

Why It's Important to Apologize

Apologies play a critical role in mending relationships and promoting emotional well-being. Here are some key reasons why apologizing is important:

Restoring Trust

A sincere apology can rebuild trust that was damaged by your actions. It shows that you value the relationship and are committed to making things right.

Healing Emotional Wounds

Acknowledging mistakes and offering a heartfelt apology can help heal emotional wounds. It validates the other person's feelings and paves the way for forgiveness and closure.

Fostering Growth

Apologizing encourages personal growth and self-improvement. It allows you to learn from your mistakes and develop healthier communication and behavior patterns.

Strengthening Connections

Genuine apologies deepen connections by fostering honesty and vulnerability. They create a safe space for open dialogue and mutual understanding.

How to Apologize: The Proper Way

Delivering a sincere apology involves more than just saying "I'm sorry." Follow these steps to ensure your apology is meaningful and effective:

1. Acknowledge the Mistake

Begin by stating what you did wrong. Be specific and avoid vague or general statements. For example, "I apologize for yelling at you during our argument."

2. Express Regret

Show genuine remorse for your actions and their impact on the other person. Use empathetic language to convey your understanding of their feelings. For instance, "I understand that my words hurt you and made you feel disrespected."

3. Take Responsibility

Own up to your actions without shifting blame or making excuses. Accept full responsibility for what you did. For example, "I take full responsibility for my behavior and the pain it caused."

4. Offer a Solution

Suggest ways to make amends and prevent similar mistakes in the future. This demonstrates your commitment to positive change. For instance, "I will work on managing my anger better and communicate more respectfully."

5. Ask for Forgiveness

While it's important to apologize, it's equally crucial to ask for forgiveness. This invites the other person to participate in the healing process. For example, "I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to make things right."

6. Follow Through

Actions speak louder than words. Follow through on your promises and demonstrate your commitment to change through consistent behavior.

Apologizing for mistakes, not feelings is a powerful skill that nurtures personal development and strengthens relationships. By understanding the difference, learning to admit our wrongs, and mastering the art of a genuine apology, we can create a more compassionate and connected world. For women, moms, and middle-aged individuals, this practice is especially valuable in fostering healthy, fulfilling relationships in every aspect of life.

Remember, a heartfelt apology can bridge gaps and heal hearts. Embrace the power of a genuine apology today, and watch your connections flourish.

So my friends, I'm sorry I abandoned you. So many of you have reached out and asked if we are okay, because shortly before all of this happened you may know that my husband Ben, had a heart attack. A lot of you were worried that I disappeared shortly after that, and I'm sorry I did not properly communicate here what was happening.

Ben is doing great! His health (and mine to be honest) are better than ever right now. We're both eating heatlhy, and taking better care of our selves. It was SO scary. But we are both okay, and I appreciate you all checking in on us! 

Until next month friends. 

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