Why Being Honest With Yourself Is Important
Being honest with yourself may be one of the most difficult parts of being a human. Our egos love to take over and “protect” us. However, it may not always be in our best interest. See, if our egos are keeping us from our deep truths, then we are missing out on some pretty great stuff. Before we get into how not to lie to yourself, let’s talk about what it looks like if you are.
How to know whether or not you’re being honest with yourself
There are some telltale signs that we aren’t living out our truths. We tell ourselves little lies to get through the days, but as lies do, they grow and eventually overtake us. Is there an area in your life where you can see one or more of these clues?
- Blaming others
If you always seem to find yourself surrounded by drama, heartbreak, or trauma, yet you never feel as if it’s your fault, you may be lying to yourself. Of course, it is easier (at first) to blame someone else and consequently not improve anything in ourselves. However, being honest about where we’ve messed up is a beautiful gateway into healing.
- Not feeling fulfilled
Are you less than impressed with your life thus far? Not feeling great about your job, or your partner, or your friend group, or your bank account? I would venture to guess there are some truths that need to be uncovered about what would really make you happy. These truths may be difficult to face at first, but they are powerful enough to uproot us out of a blah life and into a fabulous one.
Does it seem like nothing will ever work out in your favor? Or are you having trouble believing in the good in others? You may not be living in an honest reality. Life is difficult, yes. It is also kind and wonderful. It behooves us all to get to a mental space where we can believe that.
- Overconfidence OR under confidence
It’s important to get really honest about your abilities. You may be wasting time and energy on things you’re really not all that great at. You may also be avoiding things you would be wonderful at. (We sent out an e-mail addressing this exact thing this week! Sign up for that list here if you are interested in learning more.)
How to start being more honest with yourself
Ok, now that we’ve identified some possible indications you are lying to yourself, let’s talk about how to remedy it.
Important: Don’t beat yourself up about it! We ALL lie to ourselves from time to time. It’s a very common coping mechanism. Treat yourself with the utmost gentleness and love as you start to dig into your deep truths.
Living honestly takes some work, but it is completely worth it. Here are some ways to turn your ship around:
Be impeccable with your word (from The Four Agreements)
This means, if it’s not true, don’t say it. Meaning, don’t gush over someone you don’t like. There is no need to make up a story as to why you can’t go to the thing you don’t want to go to. Watch how you talk about yourself - untrue things like “I’m so stupid” etc. Strive to always speak your truth, even though it is difficult.
Yep, we’re still beating that drum! And we always will! Journaling is a great way to be honest with yourself. Sometimes, things will end up on the paper that you would never have admitted to yourself or anyone else. It is also a great way to check yourself at the beginning or end of each day. Here is a whole blog post we wrote about journaling if you want to dig deeper.
When you start being honest with yourself, you might have some pretty major decisions to make. The temporarily easy thing to do would be to go back to lying to yourself so you can stay in your comfort zone. I’d like to encourage you to trust yourself instead. Be brave enough to face your truths, and trust that you will be able to handle any repercussions from doing so. (Spoiler alert: you’re gonna end up in a much better place than before, even if there is some ruckus at first.)
Alright my friends, you’ve got this. Be brave and loving enough to look at your own truths. Do so patiently and kindly, and we promise you won’t regret it. We’ll see ya back here real soon.
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