Have you seen The Queen’s Gambit? It took me a minute to decide I wanted to watch it but I’m glad I did. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for you if you haven’t seen it yet. But good lord the last part of the last episode hit me right in the feelers. First I got misty-eyed. Then when I tried not to let the tears actually come out, they didn’t listen to me and just started flowing.
What even are they? Why do they sometimes make perfect sense and other times make me feel crazy? Where do they come from and how do they sneak up on us like that? Whether it’s joy, anger, depression, giddiness, contentment, fear, or confidence, we can get ALL UP IN THEM. Sometimes they’re great. Sometimes they throw off our groove big time.
Well, there are a few ways to explain this. Emotions = Energy in motion. When something happens in your life, your body isn’t meant to hold onto the effects of it forever. So it will do things to move the energy around and out of your body. Ever feel 1000% better after a good cry? Or how about being so hyper you just had to dance? I know lots of people who go to the gym to get out frustration and anger. Or they’re so overcome with love they reach out and hug or kiss someone (which is great only if it’s consensual -- eek). Essentially, feelings drive us to action. Martha Beck is known for saying that when she experiences either laughter or tears, she has landed on some sort of truth. I agree.
So now we discover that feelings, fickle as they seem, are actually quite useful. Annnnnnd… they are not good or bad. Our tendency is to classify our feelings into Negative or Positive categories. Happy = good, sad = bad, right? Nope. All our feelings just… are. Like the weather. Rain is part of nature. It can ruin plans for a picnic but it can also make gorgeous flowers grow. It’s still just rain. Clouds can be a welcome break from the sun or make people at an outdoor wedding nervous. They’re still just clouds. I get that some feelings are much more pleasant than others. But if they are a direct result of a situation or memory or issue, even the unpleasant ones tell us which direction to go next. Which is good, right?
Real life example: I was miserable at a job I had for 6 years. The feelings I experienced daily at work were definitely not pleasant. Anger, frustration, annoyance, injustice, unappreciated, lonely, etc. But guess what? They were leading me -- right out of that job and into a new career where I got to be my own boss and do things my way. If it weren’t for all those grumpy mornings and crying in my car on the way home, I would have missed the bus to a whole new road of life. That was my soul talking to me.
Yes, in case you were wondering, we do have a piece of inspirational jewelry for that. Check out our gorgeous Trust your soul cuff. Imagine glancing down at your wrist when you’re deep in your feels and remembering that you are being gently led down your true path. Mhmm, I use jewelry to help me through life. And?
So we know feelings are useful. They are not bad. This means they are on our side! People who acknowledge and feel their feelings are much healthier mentally than those who don’t. Have you ever been told to stuff your feelings? I wouldn’t be surprised if you had. That is a very normal M.O. for our society. Have you ever been made to feel crazy for your feelings? Sadly, that is normal too. People don’t seem to know what to do when they encounter someone who seems too sad or too exuberant. Basically, it’s easy to feel wrong for being in your feels. But you’re so not. You’re. So. Not.
I will leave you today with that. Start to notice your feelings and what they are leading you to say or do or not do. We will pick up again with this for our next blog post in a couple weeks!
Until then, we’re sending you many warm and well wishes. You are perfect and worthy and magical right now. Feelings and fears and baggage and all. You are incredible.
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