The First Step to Finding Yourself

The first step to finding yourself.

I have some friends who live in Florida, right near the ocean. As wonderful as it must be to live by the beach, this also puts them directly in a hurricane zone. Because of this, their houses are built differently than most of ours. Homes fortified for a hurricane have all sorts of special modifications to strengthen their roofs, windows, doors, chimneys, and walls. If built correctly, they can withstand incredibly forceful winds and waves.

There is a lot of confusion in the world, now and always. Massive amounts of information available at our fingertips. Platforms available for everyone to share their opinion and/or expertise. Much public arguing, bickering, and moral posturing. Advertising and click-bait. It’s a hurricane of overwhelm and it’s staring us in the face from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep.  

 In the shitstorm of life, it can be so easy to forget who we are. Harsh words, tough decisions, false advertising, and traumatic events can all shatter our windows and tear our roofs off. No matter how beautiful and grand our life is, any storm can break us if we haven’t built it right.

Enter: Core Values

Core values are to your life as steel reinforcement beams and the solid foundation are to your Florida house on the beach. They give you a strong place from which to live. Once your core values are established, they will influence every decision you ever make. In fact, they will make lots of decisions much easier.

Here are some examples of Core Values:

Kindness
Generosity
Truthfulness
Self Care
Health & Fitness
Supporting small businesses
Eco-conscious living

These are not everybody’s core values and these are not the only core values. We don’t all agree on what’s important and that is okay. We each get to decide what is paramount for us, and therefore we all have slightly different internal governing systems. While you might find that being frugal and saving money are of the utmost importance to you, your neighbor might decide that indulgence and adventure are the most essential. Neither is wrong. This post isn’t about anyone else’s core values. It’s about finding yours. (Can Handmade Jewelry be a core value? We don’t see why not. 😉)These are not everybody’s core values and these are not the only core values. We don’t all agree on what’s important and that is okay. We each get to decide what is paramount for us, and therefore we all have slightly different internal governing systems. While you might find that being frugal and saving money are of the utmost importance to you, your neighbor might decide that indulgence and adventure are the most essential. Neither is wrong. This post isn’t about anyone else’s core values. It’s about finding yours. (Can Handmade Jewelry be a core value? We don’t see why not. 😉)

Let’s say I’ve decided that kindness to myself and others is a core value of mine. Essentially, this makes kindness a law or rule for me (not for anyone else). As I move through my day, my internal law of kindness will get to determine whether or not I “like” certain posts on social media, what kind of conversations I have, or what I do with my free time. When faced with a difficult decision, I can ask myself, “What would be the kind choice?” Kindness is a support beam holding up my house.

So how do you find your core values? I suggest sitting down with pen & paper and making a list of everything you think could be a core value. It can be as long as you want because you’re going to weed some out. There is no limit to how many core values you can have, but I find it gets complicated if you choose too many. Try to narrow it down to 3-5 really solid values. You can always add or subtract later. Put those values on sticky notes. Write them on your bathroom mirror. Keep them in your journal and look at them every morning before you start your day. Do whatever it takes to build them into your life. Before you know it, they will be fully incorporated.

Life is gonna do what life is gonna do. We are only in charge of ourselves. Establishing core values is a major step in knowing ourselves, and then living as ourselves (also known as being in our integrity). When we live in integrity and know who we are, the less corruption and toxicity can exist in our lives. And that is something I wish for all of us.

 

❥ Kristen

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