Why You Should Own Who You Are.
We’re really trying to drive home how important it is to own who you are this month, and here is why: because there is no one like you. Billions of people in the world and no two are the same. (When you think about that, it’s no wonder we have trouble getting along sometimes!) So what does it mean - the fact that you are the only YOU that exists right now? It means we need you. We need your voice, your experience, your story, your actions, your personality, your desires, your knowledge, your feelings… we need every bit of you.
This world can be volatile, and that can make it seem unsafe to be ourselves. So we find a nice safe corner and stay there. It’s easier that way sometimes - to stay quiet and gloss over things we feel strongly about, or to mute parts of ourselves that attract attention. That’s a totally normal survival response. But what about the thrive response? Anyone who has recovered from being a people pleaser can tell you they weren’t thriving when they were trying to fit in and not make waves.
Now I’m not going to sit here and tell you that unapologetically speaking your mind is easy to do. It’s not at first. Even if you’ve been at it for a while, it can still be a tough thing. But - BIG BUT - the rewards of doing so majorly outweigh the difficulty. Imagine every corner of your life -- from your relationships to your home to your outfits to your hobbies -- being designed by you for you. Well, friend, the key to that castle is honesty. Honesty (speaking your truth, vulnerability, putting it all out there) works as a great filtration system for your life.
Here are some small things I’ve owned about myself that have saved me sooooo much time and energy:
- I don’t enjoy watching football. (Took me a two and a half decades of wasted Sundays & Monday nights before I finally admitted it.)
- I don’t like wearing floral prints. (Just knowing this massively cuts down my shopping time.)
- I don’t take shots (like, of alcohol). Don’t buy me one. Don’t try to shame me into one. It won’t work. (Bye bye next day’s headache and regret.)
- My dog is one of my best friends. If you can’t handle that, stay away. 😁
What if you were able to own your feelings and tell your friend if she’s hurt you? Either she will try to make it right or she won’t be your friend anymore. Both are great, right? If you lose a friend who doesn’t care about your feelings, have you really lost a friend?
What if you never again had to explain why you don’t want to attend a certain party, or go to a certain bar, or hang out with a certain someone? News flash: You don’t! You can own your needs/wants (i.e. boundaries) and live your life confidently, knowing that the audacity to be yourself will attract people who appreciate all of you.
Owning who you are doesn’t mean you never apologize when you’re in the wrong. In fact, owning all of yourself means owning your mistakes too. We all mess up. Reflecting and apologizing are the best way to move on with confidence. Figuring out your core values will help you find the difference between apologizing for the wrong things apologizing for the right things.
To end today’s post, I want you to think about the people you love most in the world. What are their quirks and unique traits? I have a friend who holds the state record in women’s bench press. Does she apologize for her giant arm and chest muscles? Not even a little bit. She fuckin’ rocks them. One of my brothers is obsessed with composting. He’s got the bins and the thermometers and goes out every day to turn the piles and I have absolutely no idea why it is so fascinating to him. But he loves it and I love that about him. I have another friend who has a naturally loud voice. We call her the foghorn. It only makes us love her more - we all laugh about it and just don’t take her to the library.
Now think about all of your quirks and unique traits. See if you can fall in love with them, as you would with a best friend. Then, go out into the world and own them. You are a unicorn, a snowflake, a diamond… and we love you.
Found this gem on Insta. Not sure who to credit.Found this gem on Insta. Not sure who to credit.